Brought to you as a public service:

First Law:

No matter where you go you will discover you have broken an unwritten rule.

Second Law:

You should try to wring some hope and humour from whatever is happening in the moment. It might be your last.

Third Law:

At some point, everyone you meet will want to make a hole in you.

Fourth Law:

Your body has a mind of its own.

Fifth Law:

A doctor, meeting you for the first time, loses the ability to read. It’s your job to explain your medical history and your fault if you leave something out.

Sixth Law:

‘You’re looking so well’ is a euphemism for ‘Andrew, I can see you STILL haven’t lost any weight’

Seventh Law:

Two doctors looking at the same set of data will draw startlingly different conclusions.